Friday, March 18, 2011

Do I hafta?

The other day I was thinking about how I am not always perfectly honest about this journey.  I realized I haven't really had many posts that talk about how hard this journey is and how some days (sometimes several in a row) I have ZERO desire to workout!  It's true - you heard it here - I am human and some days I just don't want to do it.  Fortunately, there are more days when I do - even if I don't want to, but the reality is that there are tough days. 

I have not had what I would consider a major fall down on the eating side of it - if I eat something that is not "healthy", I write it down and move on.  I try not to beat myself up over it - life happens and you have to figure out how to move past it.  There was a time in my life when I would eat something - say, a burger and french fries from McDonald's, and feel guilty about it for days.  But, the way I would handle that guilt was not the best - I would use it as an excuse to continue to make bad choices - and for sure there was no exercising involved to burn off those extra calories either! 

I feel good mentally most days about the food choices I make but the part where I still really struggle is with the exercise.  I know that I need to do it, in fact there are even days when I MAKE myself do it.  I just wish I was already to the point where I just can't get through my day without it!  I am just not there yet.  I know people who are so I know it is possible. 

The funny part about the whole thing is that I know how much I love the feeling I have after my workouts but I can still make almost every excuse known to man to avoid starting the workout.  My time frame for being able to work out most days is in the early morning before work.  So, as you can imagine, there are many mornings when I am just plain old tired and don't feel like it.  About two weeks ago I let myself "sleep in" on way more days than I am willing to actually admit.  As a result I saw a slight dip in my ability to lose weight that week.  The following week I attempted to redeem myself - got my workouts in and saw 3 pounds come off.  Reason would say - workout, you lose weight, don't work out - you won't lose weight. 

It's amazing that even with that simple logic there are days when I just don't want to do it.  My goal for the next few weeks is to just do it - when I am tired, when I am busy, when I would rather do something else - I am just going to do it.  I need to do it, my kids and my husband need me to do it, my family and friends need me to do it.  And maybe, just maybe there will be a day when my mind goes from "needing" to do it to WANTING to do it. 

One thing I do want to do - finish my first 5K run on Sunday.  I am prepared, I have trained and I have by far THE BEST support system to cheer me on as I do it.  I am fortunate to have all of you in my life and I can't wait to update all of you on how well it goes!

Be healthy friends! 

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