Sunday, April 25, 2010

Oh the terrible twos...

My daughter Zoe is the spitting image of me - seriously, it's really scary.  My mom found an old pic the other day of me with my brother when he was a newborn - it honestly could be Zoe with Ava, that's how much we look alike.  In fact, when I posted the pic on Facebook some of my friends thought it was Zoe and Ava!  Pretty funny.  So, we have established that physically she looks like me, now comes the hard part.  Does she act like me too????  There are days when I would say, oh yes, she is my sweet, smart, caring little girl and I am proud to take credit.  And then there are days like this last Thursday night when I took her and Ava in to Cub to grab a few things - most notably a gallon of milk (had to have it).  I don't typically do Cub or Target with the two of them when it is just me, it's just not worth it, I tend to get that kind of shopping done during lunch or on the weekend, or on the rare occasions when Rob and I are home together.  Well, on this night I decided I would let the two of them sit in one of those carts that are shaped like a car and have the two steering wheels - fun, right?  My first complaint is that they make those carts EXTRA LONG - it seriously felt like the cart was twice as long as a normal one!  We trudged on, they were having fun.  So, we get half way through the store, things are going pretty well and then it happened, she lost it, completely lost it!  I had let her hold on to the box of cereal, I calmly explained to her that she needed to keep the box closed until we got home.  After the third time having to tell her to stop tearing at the box top, I took it away - not sure what I was thinking!  She went crazy, screaming, crying and yelling at me at the top of her lungs.  I was nearly done so I just let her scream and cry and I ignored her while I grabbed the last couple of things on my list.  I got the typical stares from people - this one woman in particular just kept looking at us - as if Zoe would magically stop crying if she gave me the stink eye long enough - it was so ridiculous but I kept my cool and didn't say anything to her, even though I wanted to really badly! 
Zoe continued to cry through the checkout lane - not as loudly as in the beginning but enough to make the cashier check us out quite quickly - which I really appreciated! 
I get our stuff bagged up, get it back in the cart and we are out of there - I couldn't get out of there fast enough, I was proud of myself for keeping my cool but I really did want to explode, not so much because I was embarrassed (she's two and I have a 9 month old, this will happen to me repeatedly from here on out) but because I was frustrated with myself and the fact that nothing I did would calm her down and it felt very out of control and that is not a feeling I enjoy. 
For those experienced moms out there what I am about to tell you next will not be much of a surprise.  The moment the cart hit the pavement outside - she was perfectly fine, no crying, no screaming - just driving and laughing with her sister!!!  So irritating! 
We did have another minor freak out when it was time to get out of the cart and in to the car, but overall it was pretty minor in comparison with the in store shenanigans. 
So here is my question or nagging thought from this experience - where did I go wrong?  At what point in our adventure did I make the wrong call(s)?  Was it when I decided to let them get in that stupid race car cart?  But really with two of them I don't have many other options - Zoe is still too young to let her walk through the store (unless Rob is there too).  Was it when I gave in and let her hold the dang box of Cheerios, was it when I took said box of Cheerios away because she kept attempting to open them despite my pleas to stop?  Should I have abanonded our cart of food and just taken them out of the store?  I don't really think so in this case because I just don't think she was being "that" bad.   I just don't know.  It's so funny how one experience at the grocery store can send you in to such a tailspin and have you doubting such insignificant choices - but here I am! 

Maybe tomorrow I will tell the story of how she has started to kick and push her baby sister when she gets too close to her toys or to her, period!  Needless to say, she has been spending a lot of time in timeout the last few days!